Footballing Haikus Vol. 1

Dave Whelan How remiss of me to assume you’d heard. I once broke my fibula Andrés Iniesta Tchaikovsky in boots Continue reading →

QPR 2012/13: A Study In Ineptitude

“Hey Harry, Harry, I’ve been thinking-” “Not now Tony, I’m busy. Go and do some more of that PR shit Continue reading →

Revising, Honest

I’m a tad bored at the moment. I’ve been spending more time revising than I have wanking, which goes against Continue reading →

*Insert Fergie Time Pun Here*

I wanted to write this article (stop calling them articles you pretentious twat you own a wordpress blog and you Continue reading →

The Rolling Oligarchs

I was once told by a proper sports journo that the key to becoming a proper sports journo was to Continue reading →

Vorsprung Durch Umlauts

After a week in which our wartime enemies turned dearest trading partners showcased their footballing might with an aggregate scoreline Continue reading →

Suárez Bites Back

It’s the expected thing: pour scorn over Luis Suárez and pester the powers that be for a fifty game ban. Continue reading →

A Week In My Life: Royston Drenthe

Thursday, August 25th 2011. When you wake up and manage to flick your telly on using nothing but a nerf Continue reading →

Moyes Won’t Stick But Shouldn’t Be Forced To Twist

For Evertonians of my generation, it is difficult to imagine an Everton without David Moyes. It’s not that I’ve never Continue reading →

Mario, Go Be A Hero

By the end of his two-and-a-half years in Manchester, through fireworks, darts and inscribed undershirts, I still hadn’t quite worked Continue reading →

Ballboys & Belgians

Last night Chelsea footballer Eden Hazard stuck a fluorescent, no doubt customised boot into one irritating sod of a ball Continue reading →

Kačaniklić Can Be Fulham’s Alexander The Great

A big thanks to Kyle Bonn over at fulhamsfinest.com for his help and expert opinion. If I’ve got anything wrong, his Continue reading →